1 00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:02,263 2 00:00:02,306 --> 00:00:04,004 [bright tones] 3 00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,744 - And I believe that's all I've got. 4 00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,659 Oh, wait, there's one more thing. 5 00:00:07,703 --> 00:00:10,010 Peralta gave me a note before the meeting. 6 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:15,058 Ugh, the penmanship is horrid, but I think it says, 7 00:00:15,102 --> 00:00:17,147 "Ask if anyone has an anal mint." 8 00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:19,149 - It's announcements, and we do. 9 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:20,585 - Wow, what an entrance. 10 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:23,501 - Amy and I have some big news to share. 11 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:25,677 - I'm pregnant. - We're pregnant! 12 00:00:25,721 --> 00:00:27,505 - Wow, I can't believe it. - Congratulations. 13 00:00:27,549 --> 00:00:28,767 - What a surprise. 14 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,334 - What the hell? I thought you guys would be 15 00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:32,467 more excited than that. Charles, you didn't even faint. 16 00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,817 - I'm so sorry, I'll try. [inhales] 17 00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,340 It's not working. Somebody choke me. 18 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:37,385 - On it. - Rosa. 19 00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:39,300 Sorry, we're so happy for you, 20 00:00:39,343 --> 00:00:41,563 but we also maybe, kind of already knew. 21 00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,391 I mean, you didn't do the best job of hiding it. 22 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:46,307 Why have you been carrying that box around so much? 23 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,699 - I just love this box. 24 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,179 - Why are you reading that newspaper? 25 00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,051 It's two days old. - I just love this issue. 26 00:00:51,094 --> 00:00:52,530 - Hey, why are you wearing that hazmat suit? 27 00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:53,836 - I just love this look. 28 00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,664 - Okay, fine, so you all knew we were pregnant. 29 00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,405 Good for you. But I bet you didn't figure out 30 00:00:57,448 --> 00:00:59,233 that we're having twins. 31 00:00:59,276 --> 00:01:01,104 - [gasps] 32 00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,584 - No, not really. It's one baby. 33 00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:04,325 I just needed to see Charles faint. 34 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:07,328 [upbeat music] 35 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:14,422 ♪ 36 00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,694 - Aw, Jake. 37 00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:28,392 I am excited that you're having a kid. 38 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,090 - Thank you, Dad. Oh, and hey, if you're free 39 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,656 next Friday, we're having a sex reveal party. 40 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,397 - Well, I went to one of those in Amsterdam. 41 00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,399 I would not invite relatives. 42 00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:37,053 - What? No, no, no. 43 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,186 It's a party where we find out the biological sex of the baby 44 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:40,317 in a surprising way. 45 00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:41,623 - You better hope you're having a girl. 46 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:44,234 Peralta fathers do not get along with sons. 47 00:01:44,278 --> 00:01:45,670 - What? That's not true. 48 00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,411 I mean, look at us. We're doing better than ever. 49 00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:49,326 This year, you even remembered my birthday month. 50 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,154 - Things are good now, but honestly, 51 00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,809 it's probably just a blip. - Well, that's fun to hear. 52 00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,332 - Well, that's just the way it is. 53 00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:56,638 It's the family curse. 54 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,901 I haven't talked to my father since you were 10. 55 00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:01,338 His dad abandoned him at the World's Fair. 56 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:05,908 His dad fled to America after drowning his dad in a well. 57 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,257 - Oh, my God. 58 00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:09,781 Okay, so yes, fine, there's a bit of a trend. 59 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,609 But we're not cursed. You and I are good. 60 00:02:11,653 --> 00:02:13,568 I bet you could even fix things up with your dad. 61 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,004 - The Admiral? 62 00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:16,875 I always hoped that I could reconcile things with him 63 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:18,616 one day, but he's not going to let that happen. 64 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:21,619 What can I tell you? We're not meant to have sons. 65 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,621 There's a demon in our genes. 66 00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:26,320 - Title of your sex tape. - No, the title of my sex tape 67 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:28,800 is "Cockpit Larry and the Mile High Stewardae." 68 00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:29,932 - What? - "Stewardae." 69 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:31,934 It's plural for stewardess. 70 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:32,935 - Okay. 71 00:02:32,978 --> 00:02:34,632 - ADA Kurm, how are you? 72 00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:37,287 - Do you want the real answer, about how my wife's leaving me, 73 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:39,637 or do you just want me to say, "Good, how are you?" 74 00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,117 - The latter? 75 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,858 - Good, how are you? - We're fine; why are you here? 76 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,686 - You know that Carroll Street Brownstone BandE? 77 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:46,731 - Yeah, broken windows, swiped an old TV. 78 00:02:46,775 --> 00:02:48,516 - The house belongs to a friend of the mayor's. 79 00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:51,954 - Oh, I didn't realize the case was a priority. 80 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,390 I'll check into it right away. 81 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:55,175 - Great, call me as soon as you have anything. 82 00:02:55,218 --> 00:02:57,612 - Yeah. Will do. 83 00:02:57,655 --> 00:02:59,614 Oh, God, what a nightmare. 84 00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:00,658 - Agreed. Dude's a mess. 85 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:01,659 You know he's only 24? 86 00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,183 - No, the Carroll Street case. 87 00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,315 I didn't realize that the mayor was interested in it, 88 00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,926 and I think I did something bad. 89 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:10,451 - You gave Hitchcock and Scully an important case? 90 00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:13,236 - [sighs] both: [snoring] 91 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,846 - Okay, here's the cake. 92 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,370 If it's pink on the inside, it's a girl. 93 00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:17,545 And if it's blue, it's a boy. 94 00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:19,199 - And why do you seem so bummed by that? 95 00:03:19,242 --> 00:03:21,331 - Because I still think you should have done the pig roast, 96 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,811 where we start eating it from the snout, 97 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:24,813 and discover the baby's sex when we get to the genitals. 98 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,423 - Yeah, you know, Amy wanted to do that too, 99 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,555 but I just don't see it. - Hmm. 100 00:03:27,598 --> 00:03:28,730 [phone chimes] - I'm getting a text. 101 00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:30,732 Ooh. "I will see you soon, sir." 102 00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:32,342 Guess who that was. - Elton John. 103 00:03:32,386 --> 00:03:33,474 - What? 104 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:34,649 - You said "sir," and that's on you. 105 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,259 - No, it was my grandfather, the Admiral. 106 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,565 - Whoa, you tracked him down? 107 00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:38,827 - Yup, he's on his way to my apartment right now. 108 00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,524 I'm going to fix his relationship with my dad. 109 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:41,873 It's going to be very emotional. 110 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,179 - It's going to be so dramatic. You should be 111 00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:44,528 producing for Ellen. - Do you really think so? 112 00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:45,964 'Cause I actually have another idea for a segment 113 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,749 where Ellen turns your home into a haunted house. 114 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:50,578 I call it "Extreme Makeover: Bone Edition." 115 00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,841 [sighs and sniffles] 116 00:03:52,884 --> 00:03:55,017 But you know, I... I don't have to do it. 117 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,671 I like being a cop. - And you're so good at it. 118 00:03:56,714 --> 00:03:58,020 - Yeah, okay, I'm going to go meet my grandpa. 119 00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,239 - Yup. 120 00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:01,458 [flute playing "Muffin Man"] 121 00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,895 - Ooh, fun! Terry's playing the flute. 122 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,463 - At work. Who are you, William Wonka? 123 00:04:06,507 --> 00:04:08,335 - No, this is police business. 124 00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,728 The flautist for the NYPD band retired, 125 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,730 and I'm going to audition to take her spot. 126 00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:15,385 Captain Holt, you love music. Can you give me some pointers? 127 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:18,301 - I'd rather not. The music they play is dreck. 128 00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:19,824 Last month, they performed Sousa 129 00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:21,391 at a fallen officer's funeral. 130 00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,698 And the people were so appalled, they cried. 131 00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,265 - Or they were crying for the deceased. 132 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,483 - No, she was very unpopular. 133 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:29,312 The band made them cry. - [whistles] 134 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,053 - Suffice it to say, I don't respect what they do, 135 00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,489 so I wouldn't be the right teacher. 136 00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:34,274 I'm sorry. 137 00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,014 [knock at door] 138 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,712 - Hey, Grandpa. 139 00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:39,931 - Attention! - Oh. 140 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,977 - At ease. Just pulling your leg. 141 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,414 I'm your grandfather, not your commanding officer. 142 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:45,415 Now, come on. - Aw. 143 00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:46,938 - Give me a handshake. - Okay. 144 00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,157 Right, come on in. 145 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:52,335 - Wow, it's really been quite a while, huh? 146 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,597 - Yeah. - Are you still watching 147 00:04:53,641 --> 00:04:55,556 those cartoons about the karate lizards? 148 00:04:55,599 --> 00:04:57,732 - The "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"? 149 00:04:57,775 --> 00:04:59,777 I am. There was recently a reboot. 150 00:04:59,821 --> 00:05:00,996 They did some interesting things 151 00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,606 with Splinter and Krang's backstories. 152 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:03,999 Anyways, I'm an adult now. How are you? 153 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,654 - Oh, me? Well, I guess I'm... 154 00:05:11,006 --> 00:05:12,616 - Grandpa? - What? 155 00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:13,922 - Oh, I was just asking how you were. 156 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,880 - Oh, sharp as ever. - Yeah. 157 00:05:15,924 --> 00:05:17,447 - I'm so glad you reached out to me. 158 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,754 - Same, you know, now that I'm having a baby of my own, 159 00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:21,495 I've started to realize how important 160 00:05:21,538 --> 00:05:23,801 father/son/grandfather relationships really are. 161 00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:26,717 Which reminds me, my dad is also coming. 162 00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:27,805 - He is? 163 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,111 I'm surprised he wanted to see me. 164 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,548 - Well, he doesn't exactly know you're here. 165 00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,811 I thought it might be cool to surprise both of you. 166 00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,987 - You know who else thought surprises were cool? 167 00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:39,426 Admiral Yamamoto, and we all know what happened then, huh? 168 00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:40,818 - We do? - Pearl Harbor. 169 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,646 - Pearl Harbor, right. Some surprises can be bad. 170 00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:44,779 But this one's not gonna be. This one's gonna be good, 171 00:05:44,822 --> 00:05:45,823 just like... - The Battle of Midway. 172 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,347 - The Bimble of Durbay. Yup. 173 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,435 We both said the same thing at the same time. 174 00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:49,740 [knock at door] Oh, that's my Dad. 175 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:51,786 This is going to be amazing. 176 00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:53,831 - Hey, Jakey. - Roger Peralta. 177 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,485 Prepare to hug and cry. 178 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:58,880 This is your father. 179 00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:01,883 - Dad, you son of a bitch. 180 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,885 - Uh-oh. Ow! 181 00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:07,192 . 182 00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:08,977 - [groans] I can't believe you hit me. 183 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,239 - I'm sorry. 184 00:06:10,282 --> 00:06:12,154 - My face is throbbing. Hey, "Dino Bites." 185 00:06:12,197 --> 00:06:13,547 - What the hell is my father doing here? 186 00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:15,287 - You said you wanted to reconcile. 187 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:16,985 - I meant after he was dead. 188 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,552 I planned on standing over his grave 189 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:20,162 and yelling, "I forgive you." 190 00:06:20,205 --> 00:06:22,164 - Well, you may get the chance sooner than you think. 191 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,079 He keeps trailing off and staring into space. 192 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,429 - [scoffs] That's his old trick. 193 00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,344 Whenever he doesn't want to talk about something, 194 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,998 he does that. The old bastard. 195 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,565 - Look, I know you don't like him, 196 00:06:31,608 --> 00:06:35,220 but can you at least try to be nice for me? 197 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:37,353 - Okay. 198 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,746 I'll be nice. 199 00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:41,009 I wish you were dead, you lousy son of a bitch! 200 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,489 - You said you were gonna be nice. 201 00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:44,578 - I lied so I could say the "son of a bitch" thing. 202 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,057 - Dad! - Okay. 203 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:49,539 Your grandson would like us to make peace. 204 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:52,455 So, do you apologize for being the worst father 205 00:06:52,499 --> 00:06:54,457 in the history in the world? Even worse than fathers 206 00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,154 who chain their children in basements? 207 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,243 - I do not. - That's on him. I tried. 208 00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,289 - I really don't think you did. - Jake, you don't get it. 209 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,508 He's a heartless jerk. 210 00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:02,857 When I was in high school, I almost died. 211 00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,511 He didn't even visit me in the hospital. 212 00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,426 - Okay, so maybe start by asking him 213 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:07,949 to apologize for that. 214 00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:11,300 - No, he should apologize to me for being in the hospital. 215 00:07:11,343 --> 00:07:13,041 - I'm starting to see the heartless thing now. 216 00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:16,044 - Growing up, he had a boat. Meant everything to him. 217 00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,133 He named it "Walter," after himself. 218 00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,656 - She was the child I never had. 219 00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,963 - I was the child you did have. 220 00:07:22,006 --> 00:07:24,400 Anyway, one day I took Walter Junior out for a spin. 221 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:27,055 I was trying to impress one of the lake girls. 222 00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,536 Before I met your mom, I was a bit of a ladies' man. 223 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,538 - Yes, that continued long after you met my mom. 224 00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,540 - He's always been a floozy. - It was dark. 225 00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:36,238 I crashed into the dock; I woke up in the hospital. 226 00:07:36,281 --> 00:07:37,544 - How was the girl? - Flexible. 227 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,241 Man, she could put her leg-- total-- 228 00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:40,634 - No, I was-- after the accident. 229 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,026 - Oh, right! No. 230 00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,245 She was totally unhurt, thank goodness. 231 00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,899 But I was in the hospital for three weeks, 232 00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:48,119 and Admiral Ass never visited me once. 233 00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,470 - I warned you not to take the boat out. 234 00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:53,168 You make mistakes, you got to accept the consequences. 235 00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,692 - I'm your son! - And Walter was my daughter. 236 00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,477 - [groan] - Okay, both of you, stop. 237 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,261 You're acting like children. You know what? 238 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,219 That's it, if you're gonna act like kids, 239 00:08:01,263 --> 00:08:03,265 then I'm gonna act like a parent. 240 00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,136 - "Cry Hard with a Vengeance"? - Yeah. 241 00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:07,356 It's Bruce Willis' book about parenting. 242 00:08:07,399 --> 00:08:09,053 And we're gonna read it. 243 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:12,274 - I just got another call from the saddest ADA in the world. 244 00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,319 He's still pissed. Did Hitchcock and Scully 245 00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:15,799 get anywhere? - Hard to say. 246 00:08:15,843 --> 00:08:19,063 Their file contains a lot of non-case related documents. 247 00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:20,238 - A bunch of menus? 248 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,110 - A cease and desist letter from TJ Maxx. 249 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,459 - Multiple patent submissions 250 00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,069 for something called a "pillow shoe." 251 00:08:25,113 --> 00:08:27,202 - An application for a time share in Figi. 252 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:29,987 - You mean Fiji. - No, Figi with a G. 253 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,381 They're getting scammed. 254 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,339 - Wait. This is good. 255 00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,037 There was a witness who saw everything. 256 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,300 Identified the thief, they even described the getaway car down 257 00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,128 to a dent in the right bumper. We're golden. 258 00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,217 - Yeah, but Hitchcock and Scully forgot to write down 259 00:08:42,260 --> 00:08:44,088 the witness' name or contact info. 260 00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:46,526 - What? No, that's insane. 261 00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:48,397 Even they wouldn't do something that dumb. 262 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,573 - Dumb? Excuse me. 263 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:51,966 I don't need this crap. 264 00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,576 I could be on the beach in Figi right now. 265 00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,317 - If we go to court, we're gonna need 266 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:56,579 the witness to testify. 267 00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,712 But now, we have no way of contacting him. 268 00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,409 So there's no case. 269 00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,107 How could you not take down the witness' contact info? 270 00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:06,067 - Well, unlike you dorks, we don't do everything 271 00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,634 "by the book." - We play by our own rules. 272 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,636 - And we get results. - Mm-hmm. 273 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,028 - No! You don't! 274 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,726 That's why we're here! 275 00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,379 - So John McClain's advice wasn't great, 276 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,512 but I have other books. This one says 277 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,732 to make sure neither of you has a full diaper. 278 00:09:18,775 --> 00:09:20,342 Feels like we can skip that part. 279 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:23,084 - I wouldn't be so sure. - Dad, come on, all right? 280 00:09:23,127 --> 00:09:24,738 How about this? 281 00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:27,001 Dad, just name one happy memory that you have with Grandpa. 282 00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,307 And don't say the memory you're going to have at his funeral. 283 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:32,615 - All right, when I was eight, he was on shore leave, 284 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:36,663 and we played catch in the yard, and that was fun. 285 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:38,534 - Hey, there you go. That was great. 286 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,363 And Grandpa, is there a happy memory you want to share? 287 00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,495 - Well, can I pick the catch thing too? 288 00:09:43,539 --> 00:09:44,801 - Yeah, sure. - 'Cause that was really 289 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,760 a nice time. While we were playing, 290 00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:48,631 the neighbor kid fell off his bike. 291 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,199 - Yeah, he broke his arm. - You could see the bone. 292 00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,722 - [laughs] Do you remember when we went 293 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:55,203 skiing, and the guy fell off the lift and busted his leg? 294 00:09:55,246 --> 00:09:56,770 - And you could see the bone. - It was just, like, 295 00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:59,816 sticking right out of the skin, and he's, like, screaming. 296 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:02,166 We were laughing. - Oh, oh, it was beautiful. 297 00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:03,646 - God, I hope somebody found him. 298 00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,474 - Okay, well, you guys are both monsters, 299 00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:06,780 but this is going great. 300 00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,260 [flute music] 301 00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,348 - Yes, yes. 302 00:10:10,392 --> 00:10:11,698 - I know you're being positive, 303 00:10:11,741 --> 00:10:14,222 but I could use some honest criticism. 304 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:15,745 - Terry, I'd love to help, but... 305 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:20,402 Follow me. 306 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:21,708 - Hello. [laughs] 307 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,623 You caught me stretching. I've been doing this 308 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:26,234 and nothing else for the last half hour continuously. 309 00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:27,670 - I saw you watching Terry. 310 00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,237 You were finger conducting. 311 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:31,326 - Fine. 312 00:10:31,369 --> 00:10:32,719 Yes. 313 00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,722 I may have overstated my contempt for the music 314 00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,463 they play so that I wouldn't have to help Jeffords. 315 00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,683 - Oh, no, am I so bad, I can't be helped? 316 00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:43,164 Aw, man, I wanted to play in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. 317 00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:44,687 Terry loves being in and among floats. 318 00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:47,168 - You're not bad. You're maybe even... 319 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,083 Good. But to make you great, 320 00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:52,260 I'd have to break you down to nothing. 321 00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:54,610 It would ruin our friendship. - I can handle criticism. 322 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,394 My daughters criticize me all the time. 323 00:10:56,438 --> 00:10:58,614 They're so mean now. Please help me, sir, please! 324 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,703 - Okay. 325 00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:02,487 Give me your flute. 326 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,315 Wrong! First rule: 327 00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:08,711 never give anyone your flute. 328 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:11,235 - Hey, babe, how's it going? - Amazingly well. 329 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:13,107 My dad and my grandpa are actually getting along. 330 00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,456 They've been catching up nonstop. 331 00:11:14,499 --> 00:11:15,587 - Aunt Millie? - Dead. 332 00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:16,763 - Uncle Thomas? - Dead. 333 00:11:16,806 --> 00:11:17,764 - Aunt Janet? - Dead. 334 00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:18,765 - Uncle Dean? - Gay. 335 00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:20,114 - Ooh, good for him. 336 00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,593 What about Aunt Lyn? - Dead. 337 00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,595 - Apparently there was a fire at the family reunion. 338 00:11:23,639 --> 00:11:25,859 Lucky for my Uncle Dean, he was not welcome at the event. 339 00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,861 - Wow. Dark. - Yeah. 340 00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:30,124 - Well, I'm glad everything's working out. 341 00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:31,734 Oh, I got to go. Love you, bye. 342 00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,127 - Actually, I got to go too, so... 343 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,606 [dial tone] 344 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:37,609 - I didn't even think it was possible to put a cast 345 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,916 on that part of the body. - [laughing] 346 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,788 - That was Amy. I hung up first. 347 00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,703 Looks like things are still going great in here. 348 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:46,270 - Yeah, they sure are. Hey, Dad, toss me a beer. 349 00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:47,663 Bring the heat. 350 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,273 Whoa! both: [scream] 351 00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,361 - No, the sex reveal cake! - Oh. 352 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:51,580 - Nobody look at the floor! 353 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,190 No one can see the color of the cake. 354 00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:57,238 - How long are we doing this? What's the plan? 355 00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:58,326 - I don't know yet! 356 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:01,285 . 357 00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,113 - Okay, we all heard the cake splat 358 00:12:03,157 --> 00:12:04,636 on the other side of the counter, 359 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,116 which means we can probably assume you can see the color. 360 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,683 - Why does that matter? - Because the color of the cake 361 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,163 tells us if we're having a boy or a girl. 362 00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:10,294 - How can that baker tell? 363 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,818 - Because the baker does the test. 364 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:12,993 - No, the doctor does the test. Then the doctor calls 365 00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,864 the baker, and the baker makes the cake. 366 00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:16,866 - Okay, I hate to say this, but can you start over? 367 00:12:16,910 --> 00:12:18,389 - No, we don't have time. Just help me fix this. 368 00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,782 - You know, it's Roger's fault. 369 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,305 All he had to do was catch the beer. 370 00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:23,133 - Well, maybe I'd be better at catch if I played it 371 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,875 more than once growing up. - Guys, focus up. 372 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,398 We're all getting along, remember? 373 00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:29,749 Now, we can't see the cake before Amy, which means we have 374 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,794 to figure out a way to clean it up without looking at it. 375 00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,796 [gasps] We have to "Birdbox" it. 376 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,146 - And "Birdbox" is the bakery. - No, "Birdbox" is a movie 377 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:37,974 where people aren't allowed to look at things. 378 00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:40,716 Just put on these blindfolds and help me clean it up. 379 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,979 - I "Birdbox-ed" the stewardess in Sweden once. 380 00:12:43,023 --> 00:12:43,980 - Dad! 381 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:44,981 [clock ticking] 382 00:12:45,025 --> 00:12:47,679 Okay, that should be all of it. 383 00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,986 I think it's safe to take off our blindfolds-- 384 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,031 Oh, [bleep]! 385 00:12:51,074 --> 00:12:53,947 No, no! Oh, God! 386 00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:55,035 [bleep]! 387 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,341 What happened? We were so careful. 388 00:12:57,385 --> 00:12:59,039 Here comes the mop. 389 00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,214 - Bag. [grunts] 390 00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:01,389 - This is hard. - Yeah. 391 00:13:01,432 --> 00:13:04,174 I could use a beer, you know? 392 00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:05,828 - Oh, oh. - You okay? 393 00:13:05,872 --> 00:13:07,047 - The cake was blue. 394 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,266 You're having a boy. It's the curse. 395 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:11,181 - No. No, no, no, there's no curse. 396 00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:13,793 Look, we can still fix this. All we have to do is clean 397 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:16,099 every inch of this room, and then bake a gourmet cake. 398 00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,058 - No one can do all that in two hours. 399 00:13:18,101 --> 00:13:20,190 - Wrong, Dad. 400 00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,452 There is one who can. 401 00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:24,194 [suspenseful music] 402 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:27,023 - Hello, fellas. Let's get to work. 403 00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,199 [cake mixers rev] 404 00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,506 - Oh, hey. I got something. 405 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:33,987 There was a security camera by the Carroll Street brownstone. 406 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:35,162 - And it got footage of the perps? 407 00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:36,772 - No, but it caught Scully and Hitchcock 408 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,165 interviewing the witness. - All right. 409 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,862 Let's start canvassing the neighborhood, 410 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,168 see if anybody recognizes that guy. 411 00:13:41,211 --> 00:13:42,212 - Yeah. 412 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:44,258 - Wait! 413 00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,434 - What the hell? - Sorry, I didn't want to run, 414 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,218 and that was the only way to stop the doors. 415 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,786 - It wasn't, and it didn't. - It worked, we're here. 416 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,483 - Please, don't go looking for that witness. 417 00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,094 - We're just trying to fix your screw-up. 418 00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:56,226 - We didn't screw up. The witness gave us his name, 419 00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:58,838 but he asked us not to write it down because he's undocumented. 420 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:01,884 - So he's scared to show up to testify at the courthouse 421 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,407 because he didn't want to be detained by ICE. 422 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,713 - Damn it. - You know, 423 00:14:04,756 --> 00:14:06,497 that keeps lots of immigrants from helping cops. 424 00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,195 - Yeah, we know that. We're just surprised 425 00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,849 that you know that. - That's insulting. 426 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,502 I'm very concerned with immigration issues. 427 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,504 - And I've dated my fair share of spicy-- 428 00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:15,245 - No! - Scully said the nice thing. 429 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,117 You don't need to go past it, Hitchcock. 430 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,815 - Okay, I know you need help and time is tight, 431 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,425 but I see there is blue cake on the floor, 432 00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,775 and I know what that means, vis-à-vis the sex of the baby. 433 00:14:23,819 --> 00:14:27,040 So before we do anything, I'm going to need a minute. 434 00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,432 [clock ticking] 435 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,521 Sorry for all the weeping and the weird snort noise 436 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:32,088 I made at the end. It's genetic. 437 00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:34,482 Now, Jake, grab the mop, you're on cleanup. 438 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,179 Admiral, you're making the batter. 439 00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,442 Captain, you're on frosting duty. 440 00:14:38,486 --> 00:14:39,574 [clock ticking] 441 00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:41,402 - Okay, Amy just texted. 442 00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:43,926 She's gonna be here any second, so hide that thing. 443 00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,493 - The... 444 00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:48,931 Oh. - Dad, that is so noticeable. 445 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,106 - Nuh-uh, it's awesome. 446 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,455 - All right, everybody, act normal. 447 00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:52,587 Act normal. 448 00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:54,328 - Hey, guys. 449 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,199 - Hey, welcome home. 450 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,898 I'd like you to meet my grandpa, Walter. 451 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:00,334 - It's so nice to meet you. 452 00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,118 - Hello, things are normal here. 453 00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:03,815 - Yeah, everything's totally normal... 454 00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,165 Back here too, behind the chair. 455 00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,949 - Yup, and that was a normal thing to say. 456 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,298 Are things normal with you, Amy? 457 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,604 - Sure. - Cool. 458 00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,954 - I'm going to go get ready for the party. 459 00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,216 - Oh, fun. 460 00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,959 [door opens and closes] 461 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,135 Oh, my God, I can't believe we pulled it off. 462 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,658 Charles, we owe it all to you. 463 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,270 - Stop, it was an honor to cook and clean with all of you. 464 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,403 - Boy, Jake is so lucky to have you as his butler. 465 00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,404 - Oh, he's not-- - Thank you. 466 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:28,492 - Oh. 467 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,407 - I'm so glad you're helping me. 468 00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,887 Maybe I won't blow it after all. 469 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,149 - Oh, you'll do plenty of blowing... 470 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,498 Of that flute. Now, let's go. 471 00:15:34,542 --> 00:15:36,500 A five, six, seven, eight. 472 00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:37,501 - [plays "The Muffin Man"] 473 00:15:37,545 --> 00:15:39,112 - Stop. 474 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,331 The nod meant start now, not start one second later. 475 00:15:41,375 --> 00:15:43,072 Again. Five, six, seven, eight. 476 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,595 - [plays "The Muffin Man"] 477 00:15:44,639 --> 00:15:45,640 - Stop. 478 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:47,511 [metal chair clangs] 479 00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,600 Are you playing "The Muffin Man" or "The Garbage Man"? 480 00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,341 - Huh? - Do you know the Garbage Man? 481 00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:52,429 Because I do. 482 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,909 Because I'm looking right at him. 483 00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,650 Again. Five, six, seven, eight. 484 00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:57,913 - [plays "The Muffin Man"] 485 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,176 - ♪ Bum, bum, bum, badum, bum, bum ♪ 486 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,613 ["The Muffin Man" playing] 487 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:04,267 Again. 488 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,269 [clapping] 489 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:07,401 Again. 490 00:16:07,444 --> 00:16:09,055 ♪ Bum, bum, bum, badum, bum, bum ♪ 491 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:12,493 ♪ Da, da, da, da 492 00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:14,060 Why did you stop playing, Garbage Man? 493 00:16:14,103 --> 00:16:15,539 - I need some water. 494 00:16:15,583 --> 00:16:17,367 - What you need to do is keep practicing, Garbage Man. 495 00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:18,629 - I don't have any more saliva. - And I don't have any more 496 00:16:18,673 --> 00:16:21,284 time for your excuses, Garbage Man. 497 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,156 Now play again. Five, six-- 498 00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,548 - I don't want your help anymore! 499 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:28,944 I'm not a garbage man! I'm a muffin man! 500 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,163 [glass clinks] 501 00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,599 - Attention, everyone. 502 00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:33,209 Thank you all so much for coming. 503 00:16:33,253 --> 00:16:34,384 Please gather around. 504 00:16:34,428 --> 00:16:36,908 We're going to cut the cake and find out 505 00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:40,651 what our baby's whole downstairs situation is. 506 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,523 - Why the accent? - I don't know. 507 00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:44,046 I did so bad. I should have let you talk. 508 00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,221 - Yeah, you should have. - Okay. 509 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,309 - I love you. - Oh. 510 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:47,397 - Okay, let's do this. 511 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,225 Here we go. - [chuckles] 512 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:52,620 - All right, we are having a... 513 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,578 Green. 514 00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,145 Oh, my God. What's inside of me? 515 00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,582 - No, you just cut a bad slice. Here, I'll get a good one. 516 00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,280 - I guess the bakery must have messed up. 517 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:01,629 - What are you talking about? 518 00:17:01,672 --> 00:17:03,500 Roger's the one that added the food coloring. 519 00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,936 - Well, you mixed the batter. 520 00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,590 - Wait, did you guys bake that cake? 521 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:10,203 - Well, we just, you could say that... 522 00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,595 - Jake? 523 00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,249 - Okay, fine. Yes, we baked it. 524 00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:15,121 I'm so sorry. I'll explain everything later. 525 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,470 Dad, please stop cutting the cake. 526 00:17:16,513 --> 00:17:17,688 - I'm trying to find a good slice. 527 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:20,387 - There is no good slice! You screwed it up! 528 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:21,910 You're a screw-up! - Yeah? 529 00:17:21,953 --> 00:17:23,955 Well, if I'm a screw up, it's 'cause you screwed me up. 530 00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,305 You screw-up. - Screw you. 531 00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,307 I'm leaving. - Wait, wait, no, don't go! 532 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:28,351 We reversed the curse! 533 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:29,570 Don't reverse the curse reverse! 534 00:17:29,613 --> 00:17:31,224 - Actually, Jake, I'm going too. 535 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:32,573 - What? No, why would you go? 536 00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,183 - I need to go to the hospital. 537 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,358 I cut my thumb off. 538 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:36,968 - Again? - The other one. 539 00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,100 all: [groaning] 540 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:40,407 - Oh, God. - Oh, God. 541 00:17:40,450 --> 00:17:43,018 Ah... Get the "Dino Bites." 542 00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:45,673 . 543 00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:48,197 - Hey, how are you feeling? How's the thumb? 544 00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:50,547 - Great, looks perfect. Like nothing ever happened. 545 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:53,594 - It's the other thumb, Dad. - Oh, no, yeah, that looks bad. 546 00:17:53,637 --> 00:17:55,596 - The doctor said it might take a long time to heal, 547 00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,554 and that it might never be as long again. 548 00:17:57,598 --> 00:17:59,817 - My thumb? I don't care. 549 00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:01,602 Is my dad here? - No. 550 00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:04,431 I called him and he said... 551 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,910 How do I put this? 552 00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,565 - That I'm a useless screw-up and he's done with me? 553 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:10,785 - Yeah, something exactly like that, verbatim, sure. 554 00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,787 Look, I'm really sorry that I forced this 555 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,442 whole reunion on you. I think our family might be 556 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:16,878 cursed, and I'm going to be a bad dad. 557 00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:18,619 - No, I was wrong. 558 00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:22,797 There's no curse. My dad is just a selfish dick. 559 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,842 And I was too. 560 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,802 All the other Peralta dads, we probably just learned it 561 00:18:27,845 --> 00:18:30,109 from each other. - Or it's just in our genes. 562 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,893 - No, you proved that wrong. 563 00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:34,678 You care, and you do the work. 564 00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:38,552 You're reading parenting books before your kid is even born. 565 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:41,120 You tried to get me and Dad back together. 566 00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:43,470 Hell, you even fished my thumb out of the cake. 567 00:18:43,513 --> 00:18:44,688 - Yeah, that was gross. 568 00:18:44,732 --> 00:18:46,037 - You're so excited about having a kid, 569 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:47,648 you're having a sex reveal party. 570 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,215 I never did anything like that, 571 00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:50,825 except that one time in Amsterdam. 572 00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:52,653 - I really wish you'd stop bringing that up. 573 00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:55,003 - Jake, you're going to be a great dad. 574 00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,832 And your son's gonna love you. 575 00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,529 - Thanks. 576 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:02,053 And I think you're going to make a real good grandpa. 577 00:19:02,097 --> 00:19:03,229 - Hey, 578 00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:05,840 who's got two surgically reattached thumbs 579 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,234 and is super proud of his son? 580 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,018 - Oh, you don't have to-- 581 00:19:10,061 --> 00:19:11,237 - This guy-- 582 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:15,197 [screaming] 583 00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,633 - My boss is furious. 584 00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:18,200 You ruined my 25th birthday. 585 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:19,810 I want those guys punished. 586 00:19:19,854 --> 00:19:21,638 - Understood. I'll talk to them right now. 587 00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:24,598 Without that witness, the DA has nothing. 588 00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,165 Kurm is pissed. - It's true. 589 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,905 He kept calling you guys the human centipede. 590 00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,603 - Because we have our heads up our asses. 591 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,735 Yes, we've heard that before. - I never thought I'd say this, 592 00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,041 but you guys did the right thing. 593 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,738 - Unfortunately, Kurm wants you disciplined. 594 00:19:34,782 --> 00:19:36,000 So effective tomorrow, 595 00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:38,002 you're each getting one week paid suspension. 596 00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:40,614 - Like vacation? - You deserve this punishment! 597 00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,572 - [whispers] It's punishment where you don't have to work. 598 00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:43,704 - And we can go anywhere we like? 599 00:19:43,747 --> 00:19:45,271 - You can go to hell for all I care! 600 00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,055 - [whispers] Or to a resort where you're being scammed. 601 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,187 - Figi. Good idea. 602 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:49,231 - Now, get out of my face! 603 00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,711 - [whispers] Have fun. 604 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,715 - Next. 605 00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:57,674 - Hi, my name is Terry Jeffords. 606 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,633 And I don't know how this is going to go-- 607 00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:00,982 - Wait! 608 00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:02,375 - Sir. 609 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:04,203 - I'm Captain Raymond Holt of the 99th precinct, 610 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,943 and I need to tell you about this man. 611 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,945 Now, the audition piece he's about to play may not 612 00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,774 be technically perfect. In fact, it may hurt your ears. 613 00:20:10,818 --> 00:20:13,081 You may consider it an insult to music. 614 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,691 You may whisper to each other, 615 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:15,953 "'Muffin Man'? Pssh! 616 00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,607 More like Garbage Man." 617 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,261 - Come on. - But you would be wrong. 618 00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:21,611 This man has taught me something. 619 00:20:21,655 --> 00:20:24,745 He's taught me that music is about heart and soul. 620 00:20:24,788 --> 00:20:28,618 It's about perseverance. Despite everything 621 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:31,882 I put him through, he showed up here today. 622 00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:35,364 And you would be a fool not to put him in your band. 623 00:20:35,408 --> 00:20:37,627 - Thank you, Captain. Lieutenant? 624 00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:38,889 What instrument do you play? 625 00:20:38,933 --> 00:20:40,195 - The flute. - You're hired. 626 00:20:40,239 --> 00:20:41,805 - What? I haven't even played. 627 00:20:41,849 --> 00:20:43,285 - You're the only flute who auditioned. 628 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:44,286 Welcome to the band. 629 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,114 - Yes! I did it! 630 00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:47,376 ♪ 631 00:20:47,420 --> 00:20:48,812 - Hey. How's your dad doing? 632 00:20:48,856 --> 00:20:50,292 - Well, the doctor said he'll be okay, 633 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,120 but his hands are basically claws now. 634 00:20:52,163 --> 00:20:53,687 I don't know why they think that's okay. 635 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,776 Hey, listen, I'm sorry the cake was green. 636 00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:57,038 - It's okay. 637 00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:58,692 I'll love our little Shrek no matter what. 638 00:20:58,735 --> 00:20:59,823 - Oh, my God. That's right. 639 00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:01,172 You still don't know the sex of the baby. 640 00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,783 With all the craziness, I almost forgot. 641 00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,698 Emphasis on "almost." - What? 642 00:21:04,741 --> 00:21:06,961 - Well, I got another cake just for the two of us. 643 00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:09,050 - Jake, that's so sweet. 644 00:21:09,093 --> 00:21:11,835 - Here we go. - I'm so excited. 645 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:13,228 It's empty. There's no cake inside. 646 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:14,664 - What? Where'd it go? 647 00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,318 - Hey, guys. Do you have any milk? 648 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,320 - [gasps] We're having a boy? 649 00:21:18,364 --> 00:21:19,843 - We're having a boy! - [giggles] 650 00:21:19,887 --> 00:21:21,976 - Hey, do you have milk or not? 651 00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:23,238 - Jeez. - God. 652 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,240 - Fremulon. 653 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,286 - Not a doctor. - Shh!